Koffman: Take a Deep Breath and Think Summer

Now is the winter of our discontent…as parents. And the gloom goes much deeper than cooped-up kids and endless snow days.

Across the land, worried moms and dads are flocking to local screenings of the documentary, “Race to Nowhere,” to figure out if they are pushing their kids too hard, making them depressed and sick. Amy Chua’s best seller “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother” advocates hardcore, Chinese-style parenting that may earn the brass ring but forces mom to become a drill sergeant. And for so many families, the kitchen table is now a nightly homework battleground where no one seems to win.

Are we American parents just getting it all wrong?

I say take a deep breath, and think summer…specifically, summer camp. Not soccer camp, computer camp, or specialty camps of any sort. The antidote to all this stress and worry is the century-old tradition of American sleepaway camp, where kids are plucked from their daily grind, unplugged from their electronic devices, and transported to the woods where every day they can just GO OUT AND PLAY.

My son, Gabe has spent the last eight summers at the Birch Rock Camp, a small, traditional boys’ camp in the lakes region of Maine where for 85 years, its character-building mission has been to “Help the Other Fellow.” But, kids come back every summer because Birch Rock is just wildly fun.

“I spend 10 months of every year just waiting to get back to Birch Rock,” said Dreyer, a junior at Newton North High School who will be a first-time counselor this summer. “Every summer, I join this ‘brotherhood in the woods’ for swimming, hiking, and campfires and to totally unwind from the pressures of the school year. When I saw ‘Race to Nowhere,’ I was reminded that I only have one childhood to live!”

In the late 1800s, visionaries created summer camps to give children an escape from city life, convinced that time in the great outdoors would benefit their health. Times have changed, but some ideas remain. In our hyper-competitive, media-driven world, kids need the chance to find respite in the woods.    

As Chua, the Tiger Mom writes, “What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you are good at it.” As a camp enthusiast, I would counter that what makes life fun is trying new things -  taking a crack at kayaking, archery, acting in silly skits, hiking up mountains – without worrying about messing up. What a great relief it is to just have fun without the pressure to excel.

I remember how hard it was to drop off my 10-year old at camp that first summer. But, when the first letter made it home, filled with stories of new friends and unexpected challenges he had conquered, we knew he was in the right place. I also take great pleasure thinking of him in his little cabin on the hill, book in hand before lights out – computers a thousand miles away – listening to the call of the loons.          

Joan Koffman is a Newton resident, parent and member of the Board of Trustees for Birch Rock Camp.

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