Anabella is almost 11 months old, and I've only left her a few times. I don't feel deprived, though. I love being with her, and find that if I am away, I miss her terribly! I view these first few years as a precious, fleeting time, and am in no hurry to "get away." That said, she is a fantastic napper, so I use the 3-4 hours a day she's sleeping to talk to friends, email, read, and recharge.

Prior to having children, I really believed that parents exaggerated the hardships of staying at home with children. Really you're not "actually working", how could you NOT have all the time in the world? Ha! Needless to say, after the birth of my first child, all those visions of lounging around, having tea, reading books, and making the ocassional batch of cookies quickly crumbled. Now after the second child, the bar is set low so that I'm pleased if I get myself clean and presentable in relative peace and quiet. I also appreciate going to the grocery store and running errands solo. No getting tots in and out car seats, no death grips in parking lots, no wiping down store carts, no harried driver staring daggers at me while impatiently waiting for the parking spot? Now that's really good "me" time. I'm happy to read even part of a book AND I'm nearly giddy if I actually make it out with my book club. However, another favourite way to relax is often spending one-on-one time with my oldest. It's a luxury to be able to focus on just one child at a time, and she is just a lot of fun. She has a great imagination and silly sense of humour both of which make for a great escape. We've been to the beach in Florida and back home in time for dinner everyday this week, which has been an awesome break from "Spring" in Boston.

I also had visions of a more relaxed life since we had planned for me to be a mostly stay-at-home moms and only work part time. The first few weeks, reality set in and I had to rethink everything and adapt quickly which wasn't easy.
The best way I can describe being a mom is to imagine you have to hold a tea cup on a saucer and it's full of tea. You have to hold it with your hand just out of sight behind your field of vision and you can't spill, even in your sleep. In order to take an effective break you need to let someone else hold the tea cup for you and go somewhere else.
I try to get one day or at least a morning a week to myself and do whatever I want, wether it's sleeping, reading, roaming or just sitting in the sunlight and enjoying quiet time. My kids now go to school and daycare three days a week. If work gets too busy, I try to schedule at least a half an hour of reading to decompress.
On the weekends, my husband and I try to give each other a block of time to go out of the house and do whatever we want. We also take turns with morning shifts. That way I can shut my brain off, put some earplugs on and sleep an extra hour in the morning. This is probably the best regular break I get.
We also give each other one evening a week to go out with friends or to a yoga class or something fun. There are weeks when I am just too tired but it's nice to know I have the option.

Honestly, my favorite way to unwind is to watch something stupid and mindless on TV while having an uninterrupted snack with some tea or glass of wine. I do enjoy mom night's out or going out for Sunday brunch while my husband's on baby duty, but nothing can top my lazy times on the couch after my tot is asleep.

Not to get caught up in mommy wars, but I have to take issue with Megan's comments which came across, to me, as quite judgmental to those mothers who enjoy taking breaks. I think it's not only good to "get away" but I think it's important to do so. Further, just because I wish to get away doesn't mean that I think the early childhood years are any less precious - I do. But having a life of my own enables me to be a better mother. I love my children to pieces and while I do miss them when we're not together (heck, I even miss them when they're asleep!) but taking breaks is very important to my family. It helps my children grow excellent bonds with my husband, parents, and caregivers, and it gives me a sense of self. My husband adores spending alone time with our toddlers and they all look forward to getting daddy time. My favorite ways to unwind are simple: take a walk outside by myself, go to the gym, enjoy dinner out with friends, etc . . . and even like jm said, going to the grocery store alone can be liberating. It's easy to hear things from other moms that might make you feel guilty but I think it's a wonderful thing to be able to leave your children with someone for a few hours.

I read the Great Escape column and whatever Wendy suggests I do, that's what I do. *shameless self-promotion*

No, seriously, as much as I love my kids (who are now teens), when they were wee it was absolutely essential that I have some time for myself. I personally felt like I lost some of my "self identity" when I was home alone with them, and when my then-husband was off working, so making sure that I took some time to read and write and see movies and shop and watch "grown up" TV reassured me that I was still *Wendy* and not just *Mommy.*

Like all the best things in life, it's all about balance. :)

It makes sense that I am hours late commenting on this "time for yourself" topic. This was my first chance today to sneak off and type with 2 hands!
We've got no family in the area for safe, free, reliable child care and I never got comfortable with pumping breast milk, so as a result I do very few "no kids" activities. I do try to have a relaxed lunch while I read the newspaper online most days during nap. And my husband and I will have the occasional date when the parents or inlaws are visiting. Grocery shopping solo is a joy! But my favorite treat is a Sat morning mani-pedi about once a month while DH holds down the fort. I grab a trashy celebrity magazine, turn on the massage chair and pretend I don't have spit up on my shoulder.