Gentleman: Valentine’s Day, THIS THURSDAY, here’s your 7 point plan...
Remember that thing that happened last year? Yeah, that thing. This is your chance to make up for that. At least a little.
Gentleman, this one’s for you. Ladies, if you’d like to drop hints to the boy, that maybe, just maybe, he might want to have a quick peek at this column, that’s ok.
Valentine's Day -- It sneaks up on me every year too. I know, I know. I can hear you groaning from here. Dude, your groaning stems from your attitude. This holiday should not be viewed as yet another mandatory relationship obstacle course. Think of it as an opportunity. And, you have delayed long enough. Super Bowl: last week. Snowstorm: Yesterday. Lincoln’s Birthday: Doesn’t count. Excuses are gone. Face it you’ve got work to do.
You're saying that you were an angel ALL LAST YEAR? Highly unlikely. More likely, you’ve already forgotten about “that thing” that happened. Most of us guys are like that. Out of sight, out of mind. It’s over, so can we just move on? The point is, SHE hasn’t forgotten. Women never do, even if they say they do, they don’t. Ever. Or, even worse are the many things which were Bozo No-No’s that she never mentioned. Could be that she was keeping her powder dry for just the occasion when she needed to whip out her laundry list of your faults and rattle them off leaving you with no better response than to stand there like the scarecrow in in the Wizard of Oz. Women love to do this. It’s the first thing they learn in relationship school. This is a secret school, as guys, we are not invited to.
So, even in the highly unlikely case, that you earned an A+ in your relationship, (I don’t know why I’m bothering to mention this, because it’s proven impossible, like traveling at greater than the speed of light) think of Valentine’s Day as your best chance this year to earn a “get out of jail free card,” as least the down payment on one. You can earn a full get out of jail free card if you make a real effort. This card can be used in several ways in the upcoming year, such as when YOU, mister relationship A+, finally screw up. It will happen. Think of it this way. A pitcher throws a no hitter, what’s the chance that he’ll throw a no hitter, next game? Exactly. That’s why you need to pay attention. This stuff’s important.
First you need a plan. You know this baseball thing’s working for me. What are you going for here? Base hit? Home run? I suggest home run, because, unlike baseball, with Valentine’s Day you get credit for effort. So swing for the fences here, you can’t wiff. You will earn that get out of jail card. Now, let’s lay out the full 7 point plan. Like it, own it. use it.
1. Flowers. Gentlemen, this is number one for a reason. Women love roses, and they’ll always pretend to be surprised. Mixed bunches are nice, but go for the roses. I know roses are expensive this week, but keep your goal in mind. Get on phone or go online right now and put your order in. Don’t wait, you risk... “I’m sorry, we’re sold out.” As “the day” approaches, this is going to be more and more likely. Color: completely up to you, red is classic. Mixed colors, can work, you might want to get help picking the colors. Number: At least a dozen. Extra points for 2 or 3 dozen. Good wow factor. Presentation: Big points for having them delivered to work, or waiting for her when she gets home.
2. Chocolate. Women love chocolate. This is Valentines day -- a couple of Hershey’s will not cut is. Look for a classy box, hand made, locally produced. No, not the heart shaped box of Russell Stover from CVS. You know what she likes, and, unlike the roses, less is more here.
3. Champagne. Like the flowers and the chocolate, go for the good stuff. A decent bottle, like Moet, pre-chilled. You can’t go wrong, save the bargain shopping for Thanksgiving.
4. Dinner. Now we’re getting down to it. By now, I think you can see a pattern. You want a really nice, romantic restaurant. The problem is, you need a reservation. Get on the phone now. At this point you are are looking at an early or later in the evening reservation. You can work with either one, just build it into your plan. Second option here is to make dinner. Even if it’s just one dish. You can buy the chocolate cake. Remember you are going to get big points for trying here.
5. Card. This could be the hardest one of all. Most store bought cards are awful, but if you need to, get in line at CVS with every other guy, and pick one out. Mushy can work, stay away from humor/sex/politics. If all else fails, make your own. Just like 3rd grade. Remember that cute girl Ashley?
6. Extra Credit: Present. We’re talking jewelry here. Earrings, bracelet, necklace are good choices. Diamond engagement ring if it’s that time. Lingerie, maybe (remember, that’s mostly for you.) These are not Valentine's presents: New iron, motor oil, microwave, snow tires. Gift card to the car wash. You get the idea. Think romance. Nothing about this holiday is practical. That’s the point.
7. Extra, Extra Credit: Dancing. After dinner. Hit a club. Yeah, I hate dancing too. Like everything else on this list, women love this. Let me ask you, how bad was “that thing” that happened? Better go dancing.
So, that’s it. Never said it was going to be easy, or cheap. The more effort you put into this thing, the more it says I love you and you're well on you way to that “get out jail free card. The clock’s a-ticking.
As always thanks, see you next week. And we love hearing from you.